Day 18: The hardest thing I've ever had to forgive

This goes with Day 17. I've had shitty people do shitty things to me, but forgiving them came relatively easily anyway. It's always easier for me to forgive other people than to forgive myself...

I've had to forgive myself for letting people take too much of me. I can't seem to help it; I've tried to tell myself over and over again that the fault lies with them and not me because they are the shitty people that did the shitty things, but my reasoning always ends up bringing me back to what I could have done to prevent the shitty things from happening in the first place.

I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that, I should have let go before it was too late. I've had to forgive myself for the way I've treated people as well as the way I've "let" them treat me, but my masochistic self doesn't seem to want to yield to self-exculpation.